Why Commitment Matters

Commitment is the part of the relationship that provides safety and security, so couples can express their thoughts, feelings, and desires openly.

 With the rise in numbers of couples who live together rather than marry, compounded with the prevalence of divorce, it may seem as though people don’t care about commitment anymore. Yet people acknowledge that lack of commitment is a problem. Recent research found that approximately 85% of divorced couples indicated a lack of commitment to the marriage and to each other as their reason for divorce.

 Why is commitment so important?

Here’s an analogy that may help explain why. The decision to do well at school, get some qualifications and go to university is a commitment to defining your future. You are aware it will take several years and some studying. You are also aware it will take effort on your part to produce assignments and pass exams. But you’re also aware that you are going to have to invest yourself fully in the process in order to ultimately be successful and walk away with a degree. It takes commitment. Without commitment, there is no degree.

Commitment in relationships is no different. Commitment is the dedicated choice to give up other competing choices. According to relationship expert Scott Stanley, couples reporting higher levels of commitment report that they:

 Look at other attractive people less;

 Feel great relationship satisfaction

 Do not experience feeling trapped in the relationship.

Commitment is the part of the relationship that provides safety and security, so couples can express their thoughts, feelings, and desires openly. When they’re committed, they have the confidence that they’ll make it through the day-to-day challenges and life’s stressors that can tear a marriage apart. Commitment offers couples a sense of being part of a team, a desire for a future together and a desire to sacrifice for each other. An individual’s commitment to the marriage makes it a priority. It is vital that the couples understand how their decisions about commitment play a role in their future success. Not being committed carries great consequences, the greatest of which is relationship conflict and failure.


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