What is separation counselling ?

What is separation counselling?

Separation Counselling offers a chance to:

  • Consider the practical aspects of separation
  • Consider the impact on other family members
  • Resolve and have closure with each other
  • Establish ways to make decisions about the future.

Divorce or separation counselling offers a chance to examine the relationship with less pressure to ‘fix’ it. This more distant perspective can offer insight into the feelings of despair and unhappiness. At this stage one or both partners might hope for reconciliation. It might also offer a chance to uncover some of the underlying causes.

If a partner is hesitant about their decision to divorce it is an opportunity to unpack some of the problems in a structured and informed way. What do the hesitations mean? In this realistic phase, honesty and openness can often replace blame and anger. When did things turn in their history? What allowed things to become so broken? What earlier patterns of coping with life were re-enacted in this relationship and to what effect? What was the history of relationship, when did things turn? What allowed things to become so broken.

When one partner has decided to leave and the other does not, the work has a ‘Split Agenda’ which requires an experienced couples counsellor. If the decision is made to separate then practical decisions might need to be thought through and channels of communication set up for future contact with children, family and property.

The couple needs closure on their lives together and an ‘ending’ to allow them to assimilate what was good and what was less helpful. This chance to minimise hurt and bitterness can allow a less bitter future

Separation counselling allows the mourning for the loss of what had once held so much promise. Understanding the loss cycle in relation to the union is a valuable way to allow individuals to move on with their lives rather than rolling over the same issues onto new relationships.

How can counselling help with separation?

  • Minimise harmful effects on children and partners.
  • Make sense of what has happened.
  • Allow for change and moving forward.
  • Help offer perspective and closure.


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