What to do when you feel angry

STOP! Pause, take a breath, don’t react automatically

  •  Walk away – you can come back and talk later
  •      Ask yourself: What am I reacting to?
  •  What is it that’s really pushing my buttons here?
  •  Am I getting things out of proportion?
  •  How important is this really?
  •  How important will it be in 6 months time?
  •  What harm has actually been done?
  •  Am I expecting something from this person or situation that is unrealistic?
  •  What’s the worst (and best) that could happen? What’s most likely to happen?
  •  Am I jumping to conclusions about what this person meant?
  •      Am I mis-reading between the lines?
  •       Is it possible    that they didn’t mean that? Is this fact or opinion? ( read my fact or opinion blog)
  •  What do I want or need from this person or situation?
  •      What do they want or need from me? Is there a compromise?
  •  What would be the consequences of responding angrily?
  •  Is there another way of dealing with this?
  •     What would be the most helpful and effective action to take? (for me, for the situation, for the other person)

Visualise yourself dealing with the situation in a calm, non-aggressive but assertive way, respecting the rights and opinions of all others involved.


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